Lady Stardust – on extraordinary sums of money.

[This week, Open Letters has joined forces with Other People's Mail, the dormant zine of found letters. Today's letter was sent to John Hodgman in 1993. (For John's reaction, and a little historical context, see today's editor's letter.)]

19 March, 1993

Personal Case # 690-3020-372

John Hodgman
16 Edgewood Ave
New Haven, CT 06511-4706

Dear John,

My name is Lady Stardust. An associate in the United States has provided me with your name. He’s deeply concerned with your future and would like to see you happy and successful.

You’re not alone, John, everyone is having money problems. Sure you’re proud, but don’t be too proud to share your problems with your friends. John, there are all types of people in this world, and I happen to know that you are a worthwhile and deserving person. You deserve much more than you are receiving right now. John, don’t give up, you may be on the verge of winning a major lottery or sweepstakes or receiving an inheritance.

John, you may be tempted to take this letter and throw it away. You may feel that smart people don’t need the help of anyone especially unsolicited advice, right? Wrong! Some of the advice that you have been receiving from your friends may not be the best advice for you right now, in fact some of the people you think are your friends may actually be your Judas. All I can say is beware.

My associate in the United States asked me to help make your life easier. John, after making this request of me, I envisioned a series of numbers, I do not know what those numbers represent, for all I know they may be the numbers that appear on a loved one’s Social Security Card or they may be the numbers that will win you a lottery or sweepstakes.

Many of the numbers I have selected have won extraordinary sums of money for my friends. John, it may be that your lucky moment in life is approaching and your less fortunate days may be in the past.

If you would like to receive your lucky numbers call the number shown below. Please do not delay. The numbers selected have a special importance for the period of March 19 to March 31. If you would like to receive your special lucky numbers you can call 1-900-680-8667 (cost of call $3.99 per minute, you must be over 18. Service by Infotrax, Mt. Laurel, NJ, average call 3-4 minutes). I will give you the lucky numbers that I have personally selected for you at that time. The telephone number is 1-900-680-8667, ($3.99 per minute, you must be over 18, average call 3 to 4 minutes), please call if you would like to receive your special lucky numbers. I have assigned you a personal case number 690-3020-372, please have your number handy when you call.

These numbers are of no use to anyone else and will be destroyed if we do not hear from you by March 31. I have already informed my friend that I have provided you with the opportunity to change your life.

Blessed be.

Lady Stardust

PS: If I do not hear from you I can only hope things are going well for you.